just some scattered shit passing through

have you ever, just once, think about the past? maybe just for a few minutes? yup. been there, done that.

a few times thinking about high school days. the fun we had, the stories we shared, and the experiences we had those days. i miss those days. and now, looking at the present time. and what do we got now? all of us got busy. we all have our own stuffs and activities to do, we got our new friends, and yes, some of us changed, physically or even our personalities. 

me too, i got busy, i changed too. but still can't keep my mind away from all the memories with you buddies out there. 

and you out there, a few times you run around my mind. i don't miss you, i'm just wondering about how you're doing out there. 

Afraid of what changes will change us

We lately discussed about our meetings. i know that we met up a lot. like, literally a lot. and i know that sometimes you feel like you've had enough. well, i'm just letting you know that we, girls, have a different perspective than guys. i guess we're just afraid of losing you. you know what i mean? like these days, billions of more attractive girls, more to be known as single attractive girls, are out there. and well yeah for us girls, we're so much afraid of losing you.
it may have sounded a lil bit crazy, but i like seeing you all day. it doesn't mean that i gotta see you face to face everyday, it's just that i'm comfortable of seeing you and i always have the feeling that i have someone who truly cares for me, for who i am.
but sometimes, you guys, just don't even understand our thoughts. like hello.... gue gakpernah jenuh ketemu sama lo 
I'm afraid that your friends, new friends, new working environment, change the way you think.

i'm okay with you hangin' out with your buds. i'm okay with that, seriously. all i'm asking is that you make your own portion of meeting me and your friends.

you know what? even words can't put up about what my mind has been thinking lately.

really. i'm tired of hoping for everything. everything's just the same.

waktu

hi!

gila ya udah kuliah aja gua. gak kerasa banget cpt banget waktu berlalu.
kangen sma sih, seru2nya, temen2nya. gimana juga kuliah msh blm bisa gantiin itu semua. maybe soon it will but i seriously doubt it.

apa yg ada diotak gua ttg sma cuman 1:

Sahabat dr dalem hati

kerasa banget kan skrg kuliah semua serba individual? dmn semua yg tdnya itu adlh temen lu, skrg mrk semua kompetitor lu buat di dunia kerja ntr. kejar2an IP, dan mereka bodo amat sama org lain
nyari sahabat di kuliah susah nyet, ada yg mau jd sahabat demi nilai mereka biar bagus.

kuliah = awal dr realita depan mata

gua coba enjoy2 aja kuliah.

tp gimana pun juga sma tetep yg paling top dah

hm.

 so today's supposed to be another special day for me. well...... i was wishing for something special to happen. tapi yaa gimana kok gua malah ribut sama dia. cuman masalah kecil doang loh

it's only about how much money he'll get disaat dia pindah ke bandung. well, kt punya opini masing2 kan, cuman somehow like he can't accept my opinion gitu. 

and stuffs like this happens a lot. like literally a lot. 

capek? iya sih, cuman gimana? yaa gua udah sayang sm dia, masalah kecil kaya gitu aja gakblh bikin gua down, no matter what. 
gua tau dia orgnya gimana. moody, but amazing. tp gimana ya..... u understand that in some moments u have this "tired of everything" moments, aight? 

ya gua capek aja gitu ya. he's about to move to bandung, leaving me, and all i have in my memory is all the fight we've had these days. it's simply not the kind of memory i wanna have in my mind about him.... 
oh yea u shud know. dia kl bercanda2an suka bls bbm suka pendek2 kan. well... gua gaksuka, cuman i'm not gonna talk about that to him. i don't wanna start an argument 3-( gua juga pengen loh diperhatiin, pengen dia nanya gua sesuatu yg bikin gua senyum lah, yg bikin gua bnr2 special dimata dia. 
cuman kok kayanya kebanyakan gua yg nanyain ke dia "lg apa" dll ataupun gua cerita2 ttg hidup gua misalnya kaya "i was just eating pork dumplings loh" and he responded something like this "oh" or maybe "ok". 
hey u, u shud know that i'm literally tired. exhausted. wishing that u would care more to me, even it's only for a tiny bit, i'll smile. 
well i'm sorry but these days, it's just hard for me to smile when i think of you karena apa yg ada di otak gua ttg lo cuman berantem, lo jwb bbm gue pendek2, lo kurang bs perhatiin gua...yeah and stuffs lah banyak.

capek loh
ya cukup tau aja sih, i got no one to talk to about this so i'm literally putting this in my blog he he 

EXPRESSSSSSSSSS

You guys know what's expressions looks like, eh? you know, the faces and sounds you made for something that makes you happy or.....yea sad.

BUT NO. this time i'm about to show you an expression................................

OF HAPPINESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!



IWEUHIUDCNQOIUWEHCMERUHCFMIWHERCFWEIURHCFMWIERHCFMIERHBFCUWEHRBCMWIREHFCWIERHFCMUERHFWBOEJHNVOUHFVNOIEUHFVIUEVBIEJVNIOWUEBVIWJERBVIUEBVPWIEFHVIPUEVIPUENVIEUBGIJNEVIUEBVPOEJBHIPUNFPIBUSGBSIJDBGIPSUJNBPIUSBKSDJFBISUDJFNBISPDUFBSIDJFNBISUDBFISJDFNBIUSDBFSJDKFBUISDFBISDJFBSDFB


GOSH! DOING THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING!!!!!

IWENCIUENRCIUEBNIUARNVAIURNVURKAIURVNJDAOIUDRVAJRYIAUSRBUAIJRBIOUVBHSBAIOUBRIVAUBRVIAUSBVIASUBVUVIBAISURBVIUSBRVIAUSBRVIAURBVIAURBIVAUBRIVUABRIVUBAVIUBAIUSBRIVAUBRSUVBIOAIURBVUIRAOIURBVUABSVOIAURBVAIURBVIAURBVIAUSBRVIAURBVIAURBVIAURBVIAUBRVIAURBVAIURBVIAUBVIURBVIAURBVAIURBV


doing those stuffs, soothes me HA-_-

well, guess why. National Exam's over, dude!!!! i mean like, YEAH, WATCH DVDS TILL YOU DROP YOUR EYES, EAT TILL YOU PUKE, SLEEP TILL YOU DROP, SHIT TILL YOU DIE, PEE TILL YOU'RE DRUNK. Whatever

all i'm telling you is that freedom is delicious. freedom is awesome. freedom is amazing in a thousand words. BUT IN A GOOD WAY FREEDOM



CHEEEEERRRRSSSSSSSSSSSS

XIIS1

the one class that'll accompany me spend the days in 12th grade.

YUP. this is a very very special class. why? well, i guess some of you know some about it, but yeah since this is my blog, i'm gonna tell you some about this class.

AT FIRST i felt bored for having in the same class with the seminariums. and here goes the BUT. BUT, i turned out wrong. i thought they'll be boring and stuffs. well, it's a big no. seriously, i love my class. i can't simply replace any of them in my heart.

SOOOOO here are the guys and the girls in my class...........

1. Adityo Kresno Nugeroho-->Diro



2. Adrianus Charles Jackson-->Jack

v]

3. Alexander Glen-->Gentha



4. Anastasia Nirmala-->Tasya



She's on the left side

5. Anicetus Anindito-->Dito



6. Arnoldus Kristianus-->Akri



7. Chandra Ruswidyawan-->Chandra



8. Christoper Samiaji Dewanto-->Dewa



9. Diandra Sumendap-->Diandra



10. Elizabeth Venta-->Venta



11. Gabriella Vania-->Vania



12. Gerard Joshua Kawun-->Gerard



13. Grandis Sheila Tanjung-->Brendy



14. Jennifer Wiraya-->Jennifer



She's on the left side

15. Jhonni Andreas Sinaga-->Jonas



16. Johannes Wahyu-->Yudi



17. Johannes Leonardus Hartantyo-->Tantyo



18. Joseph Marandhika Ardhianto-->Joseph



19. Leon Nouval Lolang-->Leon



20. Maria Benadicta-->Dicta



21. Marsel Dimas-->Dwi



he's on the left side of the pic

22. Natalia Elisa-->Nata



23. Renatta Moeloek-->Rena



24. Putri Anindita-->Nindy



25. Rachael Abigail-->Gabby



26. Robertus Radinal-->Bento

Sorry, no pic-_- didn't find any of his pic

27. Stanislaus Krisha-->Krisha



28. Stevanus Jordy-->Jordy



He's on the very left side

29. Tatjana Dabita-->Dabita



30. Thomas Aquinas Dewaranu-->Denas



31. Yohanes Eureca-->Yoka



32. Yohanes Gema Kumara-->Gema



33. Yosephine Felica Dagna-->Dagna





Yes. There they are. The one who can make me smile, laugh, and having the best times of my life.

Another simple word i can describe about my class? it'll be "Loca" for being crazy. together. :)

High school
. Yes. The most complicated time of your teenage life. I guess. Moments like this, you may need a good friend. Not just a good friend, a friend who listens to you, ready to borrow their shoulder to cry on. High school for me, is a place to play, where I share my most awesome moments with those whom I love. Being 17 is the part where I'm trying to find my self-identity. Searching and searching until you find the best one that describes you.

A FRIEND. Or I may say, friends. These specific humans are meant to help you find your self identity. They either will go out with you and share thoughts that could simply change the way you see things in this world. Me, I have found lots of friends here in my high school. Different kinds of friends helped me to see and feel things in a different way.

BEST MATES. I have found them. To who I can share stories? Them. To whom I can cry? Them. In life, I tried to find good things from each of my mates. And from all that, I try to make conclusions out of it. Well, for some examples:
-->E. EDLYN VANIA. She was like a cloning of me. Why? We both have the same perspective of seeing things in this world. She taught me how to love people, how to respect them, how to not see people from the negative side.
-->GRANDIS SHEILA T. Well I guess, I knew a lot more about lovelife from her. I learned that there's no such thing as a "forever love" in life. Her journey of life takes me to tunnel where I stand there alone, and I know that no one can back you up someday in the future.
-->MARIO P. H. GULTOM. Even though he's a quite type of person, he shares a lot of his life lessons. Being patient and loyal is the best part of his life lessons that I can conclude from him. He gave me thoughts of seeing people from the good side first. He kept reminding me to thank God all the time.
-->RADITYA JOKO B. Him? He's the kind of mate I would keep for years and years of my life. He taught me about how we should enjoy our lives, how we should respect our partner. Sometimes, I think that he's some kind of angel from earth.

But most of all,
-->JURANDRA RADITIA. A beautiful and precious boyfriend that God gave me. I was a very closed person, where I never try to speak up my mind. Him, in my life, is a miracle. He opened up my mind and helped me to control the world in my hands. He thought me about love. A love that I simply will never forget. He's my love-life and also my bestfriend.

See? High school is complicated. When you can't find a good friend for yourself, well it'll be hard to learn more about life. Being me myself is the best potion in the world. I don't care if someone acts as someone they're not. I am me. My self. Dicta. And I know, I am capable of doing things beyond my imagination, thanks to my friends, my best mates, my mom and dad, and a lovely boyfriend ever.





"Yang lain bersandiwara, gue apa adanya"
-A Mild